1

​

散开已经很容易了。

不是同时观察很多东西，
而是没有什么被特别提到前景。

整个空间在发生。
身体也在其中运作。

反而是集中时，
第一次清楚感觉到了
那个细小的“发力”。

—

 

Opening has become easy.

Not attending to many things at once,
but letting nothing in particular become the foreground.

The whole space is happening.
The body moves within it.

It is concentration, strangely,
that reveals
the tiny movement of effort.

​

​

2

​

开始好奇：

能不能不离开这种松，
却让某一个经验
越来越深？

不是把世界关掉。

只是整体还在，
其中一个地方
慢慢变亮。

—

 

I began to wonder:

can one experience deepen
without leaving this openness?

Not shutting the world out.

The whole remains,
while one part of it
slowly becomes brighter.

​

​

3

​

有一种集中是在维持故事。

还有一种不是。

一个画面出现，
注意了一会儿，
细节自己增加，
身体也慢慢进入。

后来已经不知道
是谁在集中。

—

 

There is a kind of concentration
that maintains a story.

And there is another kind.

An image appears.
Attention stays for a while.
Details begin to gather on their own.
The body enters too.

After a while,
it is no longer clear
who is concentrating.

 

 

4

​

不是相信一个新的故事。

只是进去。

叙事很少，
却有光线、距离、触感、身体、气氛。

奇怪的是，
故事越少，
身临其境的感觉反而越完整。

—

 

Not believing a new story.

Simply entering.

Very little narrative,
yet there is light, distance, touch, body, atmosphere.

Strangely,
the less story there is,
the more complete the world feels.

​

​

5

​

回来以后还有余温。

于是一些熟悉的对话重新出现时，
忽然有一点出戏。

不是故意告诉自己
“这个现实不是真的”。

只是清楚地感觉到：

哦，
要加载这一整套设定，
这句话才会出现。

—

 

There is a warmth that remains after returning.

Then an ordinary conversation begins,
and for a moment it feels strangely out of place.

Not because I tell myself
this reality is not real.

I simply notice:

oh —
this sentence only appears
when this whole setting is loaded.

​

​

6

​

有些习惯动作重新出现，
会忍不住觉得可笑。

在另一种设定里，
它甚至不会被生成。

原来许多以为属于“我”的反应，
也只是这个版本运行时
自然出现的动作。

​

—

Sometimes an old habitual movement returns,
and it makes me smile.

In another setting,
it would not even arise.

So many reactions I once called “me”
may simply be movements
that belong to this version.

 

 

7

​

看穿越故事时，
忽然理解了吸引我的并不是剧情。

而是那种：

哦，
这样走，
原来是这样。

换一组身份、关系、前提，
整个世界就沿着另一条路
自然展开。

—

​

Watching stories of crossing into another life,
I realised it was never really the plot that interested me.

It was this:

oh,
so this is what it is like
when the path goes this way.

A different identity, different relations, different assumptions —
and an entire world
unfolds accordingly.

​

​

8

 

对于任何一条故事线的信任降低以后，
注意力反而腾出来了。

不再那么忙着
预测、防止、解释、维持。

于是偶尔想把这些注意力
全部给一个方向看看。

不是为了改变现实。

只是好奇：

它可以渲染到多完整？

—

 

As trust in any single storyline loosens,
attention becomes available again.

Less occupied with
predicting, preventing, explaining, maintaining.

Sometimes I want to let all of it
move in one direction
and simply see.

Not to change reality.

Only to wonder:

how completely can this be rendered?

 

 

9

​

以前问：

怎样改变现实？

现在这个问题本身
有一点奇怪。

改变哪一个？

如果眼前这一切
也只是此刻完整呈现的一个版本，

那么真正引起好奇的
已经不是如何改变它，

而是——

一个世界，
究竟怎样获得了
“这就是真实”的感觉。

—

 

I used to ask:

how does reality change?

Now the question itself
feels a little strange.

Which reality?

If what appears before me
is also one fully rendered version of this moment,

then what interests me
is no longer how to change it,

but —

how does a world
come to feel
like reality itself?

 

 

10

​

可以进入得很深，
也可以出来得很轻。

一个世界完整出现。
在那里待一会儿。

然后厨房里的水开了，
起身去关火。

没有什么需要留下。

—

​

To enter deeply,
and leave lightly.

A whole world appears.
I stay there for a while.

Then the water boils in the kitchen,
and I get up to turn it off.

Nothing needs to remain.