A calm home doesn’t have to be a tidy home

--Some words alongside the film

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I used to imagine that a calm home would be one I could keep in order: clear surfaces, a few quiet colours, everything returned to its place.

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Living with a child has made that picture much less certain. I can clear a table, lay down a cloth, hang a picture—and soon the space is being used in a way I did not imagine. A chair becomes part of a tent. Toys travel across the room. Something I have just put away is needed again.

 

There are moments when I still want to hold on to the room as it was. The more tightly I hold that picture, the more clearly I notice the old habit beneath it: the wish for things to stay predictable, for the day to follow the shape I had given it. Life with a child often moves in the other direction. It brings more colours, more sounds, more possibilities than I would have chosen on my own.

 

I do still enjoy clearing a surface and making a little room to breathe. But I am learning that the calm I want is not the same as a home that remains untouched.

 

Sometimes it is there while I fold a cloth, step around a half-built game, and let the room change again.

 

Making room for spring was partly about moving things. It was also about leaving room for the life already happening here.

 

 

松弛的家，不一定时时整洁

--《Making Room for Spring》视频后记

 

以前我会想象，一个平静的家应该是可以一直保持整齐的：桌面清爽，颜色不多，东西用完就回到原处。

 

和孩子一起生活后，这幅画面变得不那么确定了。我可以清出桌子，铺好桌布，挂上一张画；没过多久，空间又有了我没有预想到的用途。椅子成为帐篷的一部分，玩具走到了房间另一边，刚收好的东西又被拿出来。

 

有时我还是会想留住整理好的样子。越想抓住它，越容易看见自己熟悉的习惯：希望事情可以预料，希望一天按照心里已有的样子展开。而孩子的存在，常常把生活带向别处。更多颜色、声音和变化，也就这样进到家里来。

 

我仍然喜欢清出一小块桌面，让空间透一口气。但慢慢发现，想要的松弛，并不等于一个始终不被碰乱的家。有时候，我折起一块布，绕过还没搭完的游戏，看着房间再次改变，平静也还在。

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这次为春天腾出一点空间，是在移动家里的东西。也是在为这里已经发生着的生活，留一点位置。

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